Bowdu must understand how I feel at the end of the semester, when students start flooding me with apologies for their lackluster performance…
* timid knock on office door *
Oh look at that. A new face to my office hours right at the end of the semester. What can I possibly do for you?
Well hi yeah, I was calculating my grades and I’m really scared that I won’t get an A in this class because you see I’m gonna be a doctor and if I don’t keep a perfect 4.0 my pre-med sorority is going to kick me out so PLEASE is there ANYTHING I can do so I don’t RUIN THE REST OF MY LIFE??
Well you know if you had come to talk to me when you got your FIRST B+ on your paper — which is a great grade, by the way — maybe you wouldn’t be feeling so desperate now when there’s nothing you can do.
Yeah but it’s JUST a paper about literature it’s not supposed to be this hard! And by the way, we wrote our second-year Chinese final skit about this class and it’s hellafunny so maybe we could present it in the last fifteen minutes of discussion for extra credit —
CHILDREN! Get out of my face! If you had actually done the assigned readings and contributed thoughtfully to sections, you wouldn’t have to be groveling for points now!
Gawl, what an unhelpful JERK! This class sucks why is it even required for the major?
New student lurking outside the office: I’m just minoring in this because I thought it would look good, but it’s bringing down my GPA. My REAL major is way more important. This class is going to rob me of future opportunities to solve the global energy crisis. FML.
* The roles of the obsequious undergrads played here by Pejë and Wall-E, two very sweet pups who greet every dog by licking their muzzle. Bowdu generally has issues with overenthusiastic dogs that get in his face, but these two are so ingratiating, he can only respond with a more “restrained” roar and snarl, which is all it takes to get them to back off.