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I was startled from a nightmare in which I had forgotten about Bowdu.
In this dream, I was petting Bowdu and marveling at what a wonderful Shiba he was, when suddenly I realized that this wasn’t actually Bowdu. We had given up the “real” Bowdu three years ago when we enlisted him in a space dog program (which is total lunacy, as Bowdu would have made a terrible recruit had such a program even existed). Though we replaced him with an adopted Shiba that was exactly the same age, gave him the same name, and absorbed him into our life as if nothing had changed, the dog inside that fur was not the same.
Panic triggered the nightmare switch when I realized my memories of someone so central to my life could have been so easily written over, as if he’d been nothing more than a bad relationship. How could my mind have forgotten someone who’d been so close for so many years? It was terrifying to be confronted with the idea that my own consciousness was capable of such betrayal. If I cannot trust my own mind and its feelings, what else remains?
My memory — or lack thereof — frightens me these days. My mind races and loses itself and resurfaces to spook me in the hours that I try to hide from worry. I’ve got a pretty good idea of where my anxieties stem from, I just didn’t realize they’d manifest in nightmares about my dog.
I often have dreams of dogs of days gone by. Having one of those dreams become a nightmare would be quite terrifying.
I CONSTANTLY have dreams that we are out with the cat (ludicrous!) and/or the rabbit and I *have* to hold onto them or they will escape and I will lose them forever but I know that I can’t actually hold them because they would bite or scratch me so my brain is just being a dick and tormenting me with unreasonable demands. Stupid brain. >:(
These animals make us feel so helpless sometimes.
First off…I and the Frodo-San Clan love your blog. If one is lucky they have such a close bond with their pet companion they show up in every area of our lives…conscious and subconcious. When I get home I will look up aspects of your dream in my dream book…very interesting.
Frodo-San & I have the most incredible bond I’ve ever had with one of my furkids. We’re entwined and in-tune with each other in so many ways. One of the best examples: A few years ago I was outside in the very back of my large yard when I received a call on my cell phone about my stepfather suddenly passing away. Before I could cut the phone off my partner came flying out the door with Frodo-San saying he knew something was wrong because [normally laid back] Frodo–San was about to tear the door down to get to me.
Hello Frodo-san Clan!
Thanks for sharing your story. It really gives some insight into how our moods can change the whole atmosphere around us, and how perceptive our pets really can be. There’s a lot they can teach us about non-verbal communication… though it could take a lifetime for us humans to learn what they seem to know instinctively.
Absolutely! I know that Elektra has some definitely inscrutable moods and after five years we’re still learning to decode her -to us- completely insane behaviours.
And then we are probably just as insane to her. When I get upset and cry she *freaks* out and crawls all over me and bites me wherever she can until I stop. It’s hard to keep crying when being chomped by a half-bald freaking out cat. I think I stop crying mostly because it freaks HER out so much.
If my crazy standoffish kitty is this responsive I bet dogs are much more so, especially ones that have been with you for a long time.